Thursday, May 31, 2012

the un-language of love

we all imagine the relationships of our future.

we have an idea of our ideal type, and we know well the accents that make us melt. as travelers, we know we open ourselves to a world of atypical relationships. relationships which cross borders and cultures and oceans and races and continents, relationships which bring us a new awareness of the world. relationships which make us feel so alive we feel it in our cheeks and fingertips, feeling so very present with the feeling of new love. we know we will encounter novel situations where we don't know what to do because we've never thought about it. we find ourselves job hunting and considering settling in a country which we might not have thought twice about before meeting that one person who changes everything.

for me, that person is someone who doesn't speak english.
 

now that i've met him, the question comes to me: can i build a lasting relationship a person who doesn't share my native language?

one part of me quickly says no. it's impossible for him to meet my family and communicate with them, and it's hard when i want to introduce him to my friends. sometimes i feel i'll never really truly be able to understand everything he says, and for that reason i might miss out on parts of his personality and opinions. part of me says no.

but the other part of me, the more dominant part of me, the heart of me, it says yes. it's possible to understand each other, and our language barriers force us to communicate patiently together. this patience in conversation then leads to deeper understanding and trust between us. a person's heart is felt not through the words they use but how they communicate them. 

part of me says no, heart of me says yes.

15 comments:

  1. I was in a long-term relationship with a Korean-Japanese girl (me being Korean-American). We both had to communicate in Korean our 2nd language. But it worked out ok cause we both made efforts to be really understand each other, even when the language was faulty.

    I think as long as you both try to understand the person (not so much the language), it'll work out ok :) Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for the comment keith ~ i think that understanding the person is so important too, but sometimes the language barrier leaves us unable to fully express ourselves. i think it is however in those lost in translation moments that we really must just give up the logical understanding, and understand better with our hearts. thanks again for commenting^

      Delete
  2. I agree with gyopokeith.com; The most important thing is to understand the person, not so much the language. Taking a deep look in the eyes is half of the process.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you raphael! i agree, looking into someone's eyes and really seeing who they are can be much more rewarding than any conversation, in any language.

      Delete
  3. Language is only a tool to make a relationship work out, and there are lots of tools in our life that can be use. Sincere heart are the greatest tool. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes i agree! I'm half italian and half american but live in germany and am engaged with a korean. Next year i can finally move to korea and learn the language properly since I don't find enough time to do it here. At the beginning we could barely communicate but with time it got easier. Of course there is still a lot that we need to learn from each other but that makes it also interesting. Love goes beyond language and culture and the more we need to invest into our relationship the deeper it can get and we should never stop investing ;D Follow your heart Kerri! Love sees no boundaries!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wow. do you communicate in english with your korean fiance then? and yes, i will follow my heart :)

      Delete
    2. yes we do, at the beginning his English was very limited but he studied hard so it got a lot better. He really likes learning English so i guess that helped too. So now it's my turn to learn Korean, which i really want to learn, it's always good to speak the other person's native language and i really want to communicate with his parents, since my Korean is very limited. How did you actually learn?? did you learn it by yourself?? your Korean sounds really good!^^

      Delete
    3. yes, i've been teaching myself on and off for the past three years :) i've made several videos on youtube explaining my method and some of my favourite resources! you can watch them on my youtube channel ^^

      Delete
  5. Kerri, this is beautiful. You know what I would advise: follow your heart. Missing you my very best friend...xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Is heart of kerri having to say no, now? I mean, for the trip of a lifetime.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I met my dutch husband in Taganga, we used english to communicate.. not easy but always fun.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Language should be least of your concern. His parents would be your bigger challenge!

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is so lovely. :) A friend of mine's going through the exact same thing. She's dating a Mexican who speaks no English and, while she finds the barriers frustrating at times, she likes that she's learning and improving her Spanish and also can't help but fall for him more and more. Love knows no language barriers. ;-)

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...